We are this world.

We are the creative. The youth. Expressing ourselves in the oddest of fashions. Movements and melodies. Sounds and emotions. Breaking the mold of what is expected of us. "Thinking outside the box". The unique. The thoughtful. The concerned. 
We are the rebellious. No longer do we head to the carefully constructed stigma of society. 
We search for ways to express ourself outside the norm. No longer are we controlled by what we hear. We are controlled by what we feel. We are the artist, the writers, the musicians. We are the change. We are this generation.  

Embrace it. 

<3

The times, they are a-changin...

The Past year of my life, i have experienced the biggest ups and downs. The highest of highs (literally) and the lowest of lows (figuratively). I have seen more than I would ever care to share, and I have taken part in some of the most amazing experiences one could ever indulge in. Exactly one year and 2 months ago , I made the biggest change in my life. I moved from small town Valley View, TX to the big and eclectic city of Austin, TX. Only 4 hours, 250 miles, but still a complete world of change. Since then life is on a continuous cycle of movement and melody. I have been broke and happier than ever, but I also experience the dark side of living in a big city. I have met a wide variety of characters both good and bad. I have met some of the best friends I could ask for, forming the deepest connections possible. And I have also lost some of the best friends I thought I could ever have had. I was hugely involved in the drug scene and I have done many things that I am not too proud of. I continually struggled with my bulimia. Bounced from job to job. Learning. Always learning. Through all this journey of self-discovery I have learned many things. I understand being a 21 year old brings on a whole new level of self-discovery and growth, but I feel I have learned more about life in the past year than most 30 year olds could claim. I have learned more about the people in this world, about spirituality, and about the world we live in itself. 
Up until about September of 2010 my life continued as it normally does. The normal underage drinking. Fake ID's. Work. Bills. Friends. Then in September my life flipped around. I got back into drugs. Ecstasy to be exact. And from there it goes into a spiral of new people, new places, new feelings, new connections. A whole new world if you will. Psychedelics became my haven. They opened my eyes to everything around me. They let me see the true nature of everyone. I made  good friends in four amazing people through that journey.  I wont bore you with the details of everything that went on, mostly because it's all a drug addled blur. But it was the best time I could have asked for. 
In May of this year, I lost my two closest friends. Things were said and done that I regret and I have no idea the feelings of the other two involved. I had been warned against them by the one person I trust most in life, and I ignored his words. I felt like I knew them well enough to trust, even though my gut told me differently. I am not upset about what happened. I am not sad, not hurt, not angry. I feel nothing about the situation anymore. When it happened I was dissappointed in myself. Disappointed that I didn't see what was going on sooner, and mostly disappointed in them for betraying my trust. I moved back home to Valley View a week after the events. I can't say I miss them, because I don't feel anything like that. I do miss who they used to be and the times we USED to have together. This was the biggest upheaval I experienced in the past year of ups and downs.
The biggest question a kid my age can ask ourselves on this journey is; "Was it all worth it?"
Answered simply, Yes. Yes, it was. I know more now than I ever thought I would. I know who to trust and I know what to look out for. It has prepared my for my next big move in life, whatever that may be. I have made the best friends I could ever ask for. My best friend and my brother.

At the end of it all, experiences are everything. They build us up, tear us down, and rebuild us from the core. Everything changes. Nothing stays the same. That is the biggest lesson we can ever learn in life. IT is unpredictable and inconsistent. All we can do is hold on and be sure to take in as much as we can until this crazy ride is over. Ready or not, life continues. Always changing.

Believe.